For those of you who are new to getting to know me you will not really know about my spiritual journey and how it all began.
I feel as if my whole entire life for as long as I can remember I had always had the feeling of there has to be more to life than this, that I was not doing or fullfiling my life the way I should have been. I must admit I have ALWAYS been a dreamer. Dreaming about the kind of life I wanted and the things I could do with it.
I always wanted to be of service, to help others. To protect and nurture. I went through a stage in my life where I sat for hours upon hours researching adoption, how could I help save the children who didn't have a thing, who needed love, mind you I was creating children of my own and had 4. I would cry because I felt that I should be helping in some way or another. What I am saying is that I had a nagging, a tugging, a pull to a deeper life.
It was 2012 and I had the most amazing opportunity to travel.. My brother was getting married in the Cotswolds and I was so excited (travel was one of the things I longed to do) I remember looking through encyclopedias, when they were a thing, and looking at all the places I wanted to visit. I would write down their information as if I was doing a school project. I especially had always had a longing to go to Ireland.
We made plans (my eldest brother, Brett and I ) to travel to Iceland, then to London, for the wedding. (my younger brothers, Jed's wedding) We would then go to Dublin, meeting up with friends and Jed and his partner have a party weekend, then Brett and I would drive around Ireland staying in B and Bs. When I was in Ireland I felt like it was home. We visited the Priory at Kells and it was just him and I walking around this old falling down castle. As I was walking I had this overwhelming emotion flood my body, I started sobbing, crying from my soul is how I would explain it. I could not stop..It was not a sad feeling it was an overwhelming remembering, which I felt from deep inside of me... My brother thought I was crazy. I felt like this when in Ireland a lot of moments of feeling at home and soul recognition.
We then traveled to Paris, and onto Germany and home.
When I came home I felt like I was different. I felt nothing like my former self, the longing was not longer softly living in my body, it was screaming, fighting and clawing to get out...
I didn't know what it was but I knew that I needed change and I had been with my husband, since just before I turned 18. We moved in with one another after months of being together, we then fell pregnant a year after being with one another and then had 3 more in a very small space, so there was a lot of unnecessary pressure we put ourselves under, and so young. It was rocky for a lot of the tie because of this.
That is another story but wanted to give a background.
So I thought that my life would change and what I was seeking would appear if I left my marriage. I did that and had what I would call a period of getting to know who I really am, through bad choices. I was going out and drinking a lot. I found out that I really was quite dependant on other peoples opinions of me and that it meant a lot to have attention. I thought it defined me. So that period was fun, and hell. I learned a lot about myself and where I needed to open my eyes. I realised I lived in a space of resentment. That my perceptions were not the only way to see things and that I needed to look a little closer at that.
So long story eventually two years after the fact my husband and I reconnected.
I started self development and started listening to podcasts, reading books and researching ways to connect to my real self. And that is where it really began.
I spent a lot of time devouring these books, started meditation, and then began training, doing courses such as spirit junkie masterclass, NLP, Chakradance, Emotional Freedom Technique, Shamanic Journeying Reiki....... (which was the game changer for me) and past life regression.
I was very much coming from a place of ego in the first few years, I didn't realise that until later ... but that is how it works. I was on a journey personally and also was trying to find my little niche in the world from a business perspective. I started in MLM, then moved to health coaching, to energy work. (and that is where It was for me) I had to go through each stage, take it a step at a time moving through different emotions, clearing out old shit, removing fear and blocks and finding what was REALLY in alignment for me.
Is my journey over NO WAY. We are always transforming, growing, learning otherwise we are just sleepwalking.
The major deep shift came for me when I started the energy work. I worked my way through my chakradance training which covers each chakra, you dance, eyes closed, really feeling into the energy. This is what opened me up so to speak. It helped me connect to my higher self, release energy, connect to my guides, ancestors and become more attuned. The reiki was and still is opening me up in ways I never thought it could. I can channel, I have seen light codes and visions, I feel energy and can feel things within people such as emotions, blocked chakras, physical tension, I hear things, they come through as a knowing or a repeated phrase, I sense things, which to be honest I have always been able to do, and everyone can do this it is just allowing your awareness to open up.
To me it is so exciting every time something new happens. I have had experiences that I am just so blessed to have had.
A spiritual awakening is not an easy thing. It is not all light and fluffy, it is hard, dark, depleting and magic at the same time. It is like wading through the mud to finally be able to find a place to climb out of and be on solid ground. There will be times where you think you have it together and you slip back in.
I am an entirely different person, but the same... I used to be extroverted, (because I was looking for validation) I can no longer be in places where there is too much energy, I am so sensitive to loud noises, (and my hubby listens to the TV SO LOUD) I love deep conversation. I enjoy my own company because I am enough..
I used to care if people thought I was a bit cray cray, talking about guides, spirituality, etc and wouldn't really say much, now it is my general conversations... People fall off, they leave your life when they are no longer an energetic match, this can be sad, upsetting and I struggled to understand that for a while, but it is so much better when the people who really love you, for who you are at the core of you are the ones who are around. The ones you don't have to pretend around.
It is important to surround yourself with people of a high vibration. Those who will support you. Someone who you can talk to and guide you...
Be kind to yourself and take it slowly, one step at a time. Ask for help if you need it. Find a healer who you align with or three or four.. Haha.
If you ever need to chat you can message me.
So much love and light